Comments on: When is it wrong to ask WHY?

By: Finn

Finn — Thu, 15 Sep 2016 16:20:40 +0000

Brilliant delivery…

By: Mark Andreas

Mark Andreas — Thu, 01 Sep 2016 23:51:34 +0000

Thanks Mike and Chris, for another great video. One of the things I appreciate about your presentations, Mike, is the detailed distinctions that you make. I recently spent a lot of time thinking about the word why and wrote the below blog post with further examples and distinctions about how this word can get us into so much trouble! With Chris’s blessing here it is, I hope it adds to the positive impact your ‘why’ video is already having!

http://markandreas.com/why-not-ask-why/

By: Mark Andreas

Mark Andreas — Thu, 01 Sep 2016 16:28:44 +0000

In reply to Gabriel. Hi Gabriel, I like how Chris put it. Also, in my experience if I'm depressed (not motivated) and I ask myself, "why am I so motivated" then it creates internal conflict and incongruence because I'm presupposing motivation where there isn't any yet. This is similar to attempting to use a positive affirmation to override my current experience, which doesn't work (though many people try to do this, and also advocate it). Positive affirmations are useful when they don't contradict my current experience (which creates inner conflict and amplifies the negative of being depressed).

By: Chris Thompson

Chris Thompson — Fri, 19 Aug 2016 21:59:07 +0000

In reply to Gabriel.

I think you can ask “why” when you’re establishing the rationale that motivates you towards something (rather than being used to maintain a stuck state). “Why do you want to lose weight” is a common example for weight loss, but I’d still really prefer people start saying things like “How will your life we different when you lose weight”? It yields a better answer.

By: Karen Russell

Karen Russell — Tue, 26 Jul 2016 12:51:00 +0000

Absolutely fascinating stuff that can be applied personally and professionally!
Thank you!

By: Kevin Barrie

Kevin Barrie — Tue, 12 Jul 2016 00:51:18 +0000

I love your videos and am getting a lot of information to both help clients and myself get the most out of life

By: Charles

Charles — Wed, 29 Jun 2016 14:28:51 +0000

I’ve always found a much more useful question to be “Why not?” It opens more opportunity than plain-old, unaccompanied Why.

By: Ange

Ange — Fri, 10 Jun 2016 19:58:17 +0000

Thanks Mike: I’ve experienced reticular activating system all my life and didn’t know that there was a name for it. In the past we owned a silver and burgundy oldsmobile, then a blue van, now an indigo blue pt cruiser. I see pt cruisers everywhere. So most of what I see daily goes unnoticed. I agree not to focus on why do I have nothing and why are my bills piling up? to instead focus on how and when can I reach from point a to point b?.

By: Gabriel

Gabriel — Tue, 07 Jun 2016 13:36:31 +0000

Can I use Why in positive?
I mean, for example I´m depressed and I want to be motivated, and I ask myself:
Why am I so motivated? so my brain gives me reasons to be motivated in the present moment. or Is it best not to use Why even in positive ?

By: Chris Thompson

Chris Thompson — Mon, 07 Dec 2015 17:17:42 +0000

In reply to Michael.

Very useful comment, Michael! I agree with you. “Why” can be replaced with “what” in those forward looking cases and it isn’t really changing the focus. Example: “Why do I want more money” can also be “What amazing things will I do when I have more money” (same focus, but it’s directly putting the answer into process which I prefer). The examples Mike uses (where “why” is not a good choice) involve stuck states, and the solution to this is to put people back into process and ask how, etc.